I am a terrible person. Please don’t start listing mentally why, my faults are mountainous. No, I shall enlighten you. I haven’t blogged for EONS. Now for the mass of self justification. Prepare yourself.
The most important and magnificent reason for this is related to my previous post on facing your fears. Yes peeps, I have been fear facing!
Last Thursday off I toddled to Leeds and then on to the Ilkley Literature Festival. As I mentioned in my previous post I have developed a very irritating and life stunting phobia of public speaking. There were many reasons for this but in the last few months it has become quite plain that this was stopping me from doing important things. It was also becoming a source of irritation for me as I used to love it so much. I was running out of reasons why I couldn’t do it anymore. It needed sorting.
So I set about a genius, fail proof plan to conquer said fear. I offer it to you as a model which you may or may not wish to replicate (probably the later).
1. Agree to speak at a festival, hurrah.
2. Actually go to the festival and book in to see lots of friends so that backing out would be unforgivable (and expensive).
3. Read to lots of friends until it seems likely that you will stumble over only every other word.
4. Give oneself a stern talking to about chilling out.
5. Get lots of Year 10 kids to pray for you at your husband’s school - like prayer child labour, if you will – because God likes the prayers of kids. I’m thoroughly convinced. Granted this may be more difficult if you don’t have a husband and he’s not an RE teacher. But you can borrow mine.
6. Have a large glass of wine.
Result? I was a beacon of serenity. I sat in my dressing room (Yes, I had a dressing room - I give you permission to laugh) and floated down to the stage on a cloud of relaxation, an enigma of calm. I read my story. My legs did not shake. My voice did not shake. And…..I had fun.
So now it seems like a good idea that I have been absent – huh? Worthwhile indeed.