I was on my way home from the bookshop last night and suddenly became aware that I was carrying what felt like ten tons of bricks in my bag. I normally carry around stacks of books with me, but working in a bookshop this is hardly necessary hence I knew books were not the offending items. As is customary on a Friday I was off to the pub for a swift celebratory pint, which provided an opportunity for some handbag exploration.
What I discovered was this:
I now carry 32 keys with me. 32! I am quickly descending into the realms of hunchbacked, knuckle dragging key carrier. Alarming indeed. But more alarming than the practical and potential aesthetic considerations is that each of these keys represents a new responsibility that I have acquired in the last two weeks.
You know when you leave the house and half way up the road decide that not only have you left the door open but also the grill on and a fire raging in the living room, when in fact everything is fine?! Well now I do that several times a day and with my more fear because if I leave the church or the shop open people will steal really good stuff not just my Glee CDs and a nice top. Even though it's not possible to have left an oven on in a bookshop or a church I am still utterly convinced that there magically is one and that is exactly what I have done.
The roles I've taken on are exciting, I love the local church and serving there is a blessing and the bookshop is wonderful but my goodness the weight is not just the physical one of a ludicrous amount of keys. There is so little room to mess up when you are responsible for people. In some ways it would be easier to be behind a desk, doing something that affects no one, or at least no one I can see.
80% of the time, in the midst of the daily busyness, it all looks fine but when you get home and close the door and hang up your 32 to keys on the hook well then it starts to look a little scary. So I'm just crossing everything I have and putting up as many prayers as I possibly can that I get this right, that I prove to be someone worth putting trust into and that most of all I can be pleased with myself at the end of each day at a job well done. And I'm also going to walk with my shoulders back, can't be too careful with the ol' hunchback thing...