Thursday, 3 February 2011

The A-Z of winter - 8th Nov 2010

Today is one of those days where I retract, tortoise like, into my shell, moaning all the way. I am starting to be concerned that my body is confused as to what species I am and is leading me into a winter of hibernation. Oh how wonderful that would be. Crawling into bed for four long months - wake me up when the winter is over. Ideally my husband would not hibernate so he could keep the house running, put the occasional Snickers by the bed and go to work so the gas board don’t cut us off. Yes! That would be perfect!

But alas, no. Instead I am battling against the wind and rain with Zena warrior princess-like effort and just a flimsy umbrella to defend me. ‘Short of hibernating, what can be done to survive this season?’ I pondered as a bus drove past, splashing me with murky rain water and leaf gunk. Well here is my small and silly contribution to the general cheering up of society on this dismal Monday. May I present: The A-Z of Winter.

Winter is good for…..
A Apples! Toffee apples, yum!
B Books! Like my short story collection which is winging its way first proof stylee to my house, woo!
C Christmas! It’s legitimate to start getting excited, friends. You heard it here first.
D Dogs! They look funny in little winter jackets, much merriment!
E Elephants! They too look funny in winter jackets (ok, that one is just plain silliness -  or is it?!)
F Fires! Toast your tootsies!
G Greenery! Evergreen trees topped with snow, ahhhhh!
H Hot water bottles! Toast up your bed before you climb in, mmmmm!
I Igloos! If you are very far north….
J Jackets! Fluffy ones, duffel ones, parka ones, doggy ones, elephant ones…
K Kaleidoscope of autumn leaves! Yes, I struggled with K…
L Lovely hearty meals: stews and crumbles. Baked goodness all around. This is the time to eat cake with abandon.
M Mittens, or even better glittens!
N Noel, noel! See C…..
O Oranges with random dolly mixtures on cocktail sticks stuck into them at Christingle! What is that all about….?
P Pies! Mince pies, chicken pies, fruit pies, turning into a pie…it’s all good.
Q Quangoes! I just like that word…..
R Reindeers! Especially as my lovely friend Rudo thought that they were mythical creatures like Unicorns! Bless you Rudo, you made my year!
S Santa! See C……
T Toast! Hot buttered toast on a winter morning with a nice cup of TEA! Wooh, double whammy!
U Umbrellas! When it doesn’t go inside out on you that is. I plan to buy a new one from Cath Kidston so that I will actually be excited when it rains (The same, I believe, applies to novelty welly boots.)
V Vans? No? Very nice evenings in the pub with glass of Merlot?!
W Welly boots! (see U…)
X  Xylophones! Because you always have to have Xylophones in an A-Z
Y Yule logs! Chocolate cake coated in chocolate, need I say more?
Z Zena warrior princess like battles with the elements which we shall ultimately triumph over, victorious!

See, Winter is lovely!

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