Saturday, 14 May 2011

My right hand man

My husband never reads my blogs until weeks after I write them if at all so I'm fairly sure I'm safe in writing this and won't cause some incredible inflation of his ego that will make him unbearable over the weekend. I don't know whether its the romance of the royal wedding, the arrival of summer, or what feels like emerging butterfly-like from a period of difficulty but I am extra specially grateful for my husband at the moment.

Bless him, he rarely gets notable mention. The things that we have around the most are the easiest to take for granted, I find. Friends, families, partners can all go under our radar so easily for the very reason that they are quiet and persistent goodness in our lives – the things we should value the most. I read in Elizabeth Gilbert's (author of Eat, Pray, Love) Committed a wonderful quote that your spouse is like air, always there, so easy to ignore yet you can't get by without them.

Sometimes people get a little surprised by husband and I. I'm hardly a shy retiring presence and he is so chilled out he's almost horizontal. We don't really fit into the typical gender roles. In church I'm the worker, he's my right hand man. It comes naturally for us to be that way. I'm the one who drives things forwards. If I try and get him to make decisions he has and episode closely resembling a breakdown until I suggest what the best decision might be and the relief on his face is beyond comical. But when the poop hits the fan he knows what he's about and, essentially for me, what I'm about. He doesn't let me compromise or let go of the things that are important to me. The very reason I have spent today working at home writing for Tearfund and even writing this blog is because of his encouragement and support.

This week I had a manic job juggling moment where I had to shut the shop and simultaneously meet with a Vicar to have some marriage certificates signed, which I had left at home at least half an hour from the shop. It was my husband who ran up the road with the certificates to meet me. Last night when I suggested that we each pull a country out of a hat for Eurovision and then watch it together in national dress, eating a national dish and drinking a national drink he didn't even flinch! Even that level of mania was accepted, even welcomed! I tell you, I've found a good one there, God bless that man!!

So may I propose to you dear blog readers that this weekend be about appreciating the air that you breathe, those people that hold us up through it all. What stars!


  1. Hi Nicola

    Your post echoes exactly what I've been thinking today. So often I take my husband and friends for granted. But occasionally I step back and am reminded of the ways they love, encourage, challenge and support me. I guess it's like a limb you don't notice till it stops working. Then you think, blimey, my knee does a good job. Let's here it for the joints!

    Your hubby's Eurovision support is especially impressive. Ireland has my vote, but I'll throw an extra one in for anyone wearing a viking hat..

  2. how lovely :)
    mine is awesome too, although not sure he'd have gone for the eurovision thing!

  3. I fear the Eurovision enthusiasm says more about him than his support for me! Ha! He did agree rather too quickly I'd say....!