Wednesday 28 August 2013

Paris, Fashion and Being You

While I was in Paris I fell in love. Not just with the winding streets of the Latin Quarter nor the Patisseries on every corner but with something just as important and enduring. I fell in love with Fashion. I have to be honest, it is not our first fling. Since the age of 13 when I got my first pay cheque I have been lusting after a new bag or some strappy sandals. But Paris? Oh, it is a living catwalk. This year has been a rather tumultuous one for me and fashion and my time in the city took me some way towards getting my thoughts in order and answering that terrible, terrifying question – what on earth should a 29 year old Vicar-to-be have in her wardrobe?

I trace this particular crisis back to a lunchtime seminar on female clergy and clothes. In fact, I can trace it back to one particular sentence. 'If you want to get into any senior positions in the Church of England then you need to wear black, it is the only colour anyone will take you seriously in.' Pant suits are the order of the day, boxy shirts are your uniform. A conversation ensued about why this might be so and the consensus emerged that this is really about what men wear. It seems it is just easier to be taken seriously in the church right now if you either are a bloke or at least attempt to look as little different from a bloke as you can. You can debate that in your own time!

Now, there is of course much to be said about wearing clothes that are appropriate for the task at hand. I'm not suggesting pink sparkly sandals are suitable funeral attire just as I wouldn't have worn them to a business meeting in my former life. Many women like wearing black and see that as a representation of the kind of minister they are. That, of course, is fine and good. But I immediately found myself reacting strongly to the suggestion that I had to wear black to somehow blend into the boys club and not offend anyone with my femaleness. Being a minster isn't something you do on the weekends or that you pop a uniform on for during the day. It is you life, your every day. I instinctively knew, dressed head to toe in black, I would be compromising who I am and the minister I want to be.
 
My moment of high fashion in Paris!
Being in Paris really helped me think all these things through because the women there look so utterly appropriate, completely unbloke-ish and with a glorious sense of style. Whether we like it or not we all have to wear clothes and our clothes tell a story before we even open our mouths. Being in Paris made me think about what story I am telling. Me in black tells a story about suppressing my femininity and character for position and to appease. That is not a story I want to live, let alone tell.

If I'm going to be here in this big old institution then I have to be here as exactly what I am and that includes the fact that I am young and female. How else will people begin to understand that God isn't only partial to greying white men in black? That he loves us all, multicoloured and wonderful as we are. Rather than being a distinct, unapproachable figure I want to project accessibility. Having a faith doesn't make you some kind of alien being with which normal humans have nothing in common. You can chat to me, make friends with me. We are the same. Personally, that is important to me and that is the kind of minister I want to be.

It also says something about craftsmanship. About valuing artistry and design. For a long time now I have been making up my wardrobe of mainly second hand and vintage clothing. I try to choose clothes that are good news for the people that make and sell them. This sometimes means paying more, sometimes it means picking something up for a couple of pounds in a charity shop. Either way it is intentional and resisting the throw away fashion trend we have fallen so heavily into.

And lastly it says something about honesty. Hiding who I am is the very opposite of what I would encourage anyone to do who came to me pastorally as a minister. I would say shine, let yourself be seen and get out there. I would say choose clothes with compassion and honesty. I would say 'Be you.' So for that reason I am going to embrace my wardrobe, strappy sandals and all. Me and fashion are back on track.
 
Women with a pink handbag, coming to a Church near you!

10 comments:

  1. Sexy poncho!! ha ha!

    And yes, I think I need to stay in a job where I can wear my jeans. I wore a dress suit to a conference back in November - my pastor didn't recognise me at first 'without my jeans on'.

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    1. Ha! Brilliant. Jeans fit your role, so why not?

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  2. I am so with you :) I will be sticking to short skirts, skinny jeans & boots when I am ordained thank you very much!! The C of E needs people to bring in some funkiness :) rev kate bottley a great example with some amazing dresses and shoes...

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    1. Thanks Red. Yes, it's about authenticity isn't it? Best wishes for the start of term!

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  3. I love this post/pose. Thanks!

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    1. Thanks Sinead! It was a rather special poncho!

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  4. Amen. Though, there are many women who think the only clergy colour is black just because it is, ie clericals only come in black, regardless of gender wearing them. To be honest I hesitate still to engage with gender behind the altar, I just see a priest, but maybe that's just me. Ispent a lot of last year in brown or midnight blue shirts, skinny jeans and boots, reserving black often only for sundays, I have found you can use the black shirt as a canvas to bright or funky skirts - which I already had from work and which I'd been thoughtfully investing in before training with that in mind. I also have way more matching bracelets now - I used to rarely wear them when they got in the way of keyboards, but (also cos I'm not a handbag person) I match skirt/earrings/bracelets so they look classy, feminine, but often black. Almost never never never all black (though I suspect I did that before, out of choice!) it used to annoy me that - actually it still does, but I'm not convinced Prada & sequinned laboutins with a collar doesn't collude - there's an assumption of trying to look sexy when actually you just have to be free to look you. Good professional styling and tailoring actually goes a long way toward withdrawing the you-person to a place of simple accessible authenticity and allowing the you-priest to be recognised as priest. (Oops, just summarised my essay).

    On the French theme, however, you made me laugh. When I taught in France as an undergraduate, it rained All The Time. I looked like a hedge-backward person the whole time, the French ladies looked effortlessly elegant. Always. In the end I discovered this is down to two essential things: their tenth birthday party is at NG where they are taught impeccable make-up and impeccable posture, and there is no such thing as M&S underwear. Their elegance radiates from the inside out in a way that has somehow been lost here. I never learned if it was learnable, sadly ;-)

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    1. Thanks Kate! You raise some really interesting points (and thanks for sending over your essay). As you quite rightly said there is the theological significance for some and that is fine and good. For me, I just don't feel that way about black and for what I see my ministry being about accessibility is key. It's fascinating how much of a question it is really!

      The French women really do have it don't they! I'm not sure it's learnable either, still, I'll steal a few points here and there!

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  5. Oh I just love so much about this post! I love that you are wanting to be yourself, I love that you want to dress to be accessible, I love that you want to show that God loves the whole wonderful variety of people, I love that you recognise how much your clothes say about you (for better or worse)...!

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    1. Ah thanks Fiona! It's an ongoing process of thinking really but this is where I've got to right now. I think thinking about is really important in itself really. Thanks for commenting! :)

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