Staying Alive

Yup, five weeks into starting driving lessons and I AM STILL ALIVE. This is the diametric opposite to what I was convinced would happen when I began driving again. The even more amazing fact is that EVERYONE ELSE IS ALSO STILL ALIVE. Impressive, I know. I have been a dedicated student. The Highway Code is my constant companion. I stare at people, somewhat alarmingly for them, as they drive. I am a terrible back seat driver muttering about harsh gear changes and being heavy on the break. I'm desperate to learn, taking every opportunity I can. I still have to spend half an hour talking myself down from the (metaphorical!) ledge before each lesson and have to instruct myself to breath at regular intervals. But I remind myself that I am still doing it even though each lesson feels like walking into a den of really hungry lions who have previously said that their favourite meal is small, brown haired English people.

What I have found interesting are the parallels between learning to drive and how I approach many other things in life. I wonder if this is a more universal phenomena? I do like to think I am slightly more competent in general that behind the wheel. I don't start screaming behind my desk when I can't format an excel sheet or cry over preparing a meal (except when there are onions involved). This is probably because there is no immediate fear of death from excel failure or a bad pasta bake but otherwise there are some real similarities in how I approach driving and other things in life. In the last few weeks I have had some pretty in depth references written about me and the comments made there and in the course of my driving lessons have been alarmingly similar. 'You have every right to be where you are,' my referee said to me over coffee. 'You have as much right to be on the road as any other driver,' my driving instructor said to me at the end of this weeks lesson. Hmm. I'm sensing a pattern!

The other thing that has come up in the course of my driving lessons is that I spend a lot of the time I'm driving worrying about the cyclist I nearly took out on that last bend or the mini roundabout that I had a mini melt down on rather than worrying about what is happening on the road NOW. How true is THAT of how most of us live our lives. Looking in the rear view mirror and thinking 'Crikey, that was a bad move.' As my instructor says 'It's over, get over it. There is a whole new set of problems to worry about that are happening now.' As much as there is not much point worrying about what is coming tomorrow, there's not much point in dwelling on what happened yesterday once you've learned everything you can from it. There comes a point where bashing youself with the idiot stick is getting you nowhere and only holding your attention in the past. Today has enough troubles and opportunities of its own to navigate and they need your full attention.

Blog fodder AND I'm still alive. These lessons are good value, huh?